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19 April 2012 @ 11:05 pm
Ficlet: Reflecting on the past year.  
Ashe was sitting on the roof of the garage, he had no real reason to be other then looking down at the bypass watching cars go by, he had a cigarette half smoked and mostly empty bottle of rum he had come across sitting beside him. Below him an older System of a Down song playing from the sound system he had had set up inside of the garage forever. As the music played he was humming along with it.

He was reflecting on the past six months, his whole life had gone haywire just after Christmas. It had been a very sad Christmas for him, cheap gifts passed between him and Sarah neither really putting much feeling into it as Ashe was drunk through most of the holidays, it had been his first year that he had truly noticed the holidays as Danny had died the year before just before August, Ashe had awakened on Halloween, and by Día de los Muertos. He had spent from that day till Easter just wandering the country side. It was Easter of that year that he was reunited with Sarah and started to try to live.

When the major holidays hit he had taken to drinking, why he didn't know a better way to numb the pain. Looking back on how he had acted when he was with Sarah he didn't know why she had stayed with him so long, but he did seem to understand why she had turned down his marriage proposal. It had been too little too late. By the time he tried to truly fix thing's with Sarah and clean up his act he had already befriended Raine and met Selene. Sarah had nagged at him endlessly to go out and make friends, to live the life he had been given but he couldn't bare to live that life without Danny. It had taken him a long time to start to learn to smile again.

He had started to feel forbidden feelings for the woman he now called his lover when she did a great kindness for him, moving Danny to a place he could truely rest, but it wasn't just that, it was standing by his side and not judging him when he broke down and sobbed. He had held himself together until the little coffin was lowered, he feel apart and having her there. not feeling judged. That day he had started to feel his heart opening to her and he had shoved the feelings away. By then he had already planned to ask Sarah to marry him, he wanted to give Sarah whatever it took to make her happy, she had died because of him and he cursed because of her.

And then their was Grace, the girl he had met during his vengeance and he had shown a magic trick too to get her to smile and tried to get her to see that their was a better way then getting high. The powers that be had put him in the right place at the right time, he saved her from a man that surely had been about to rape her, he blew the man's head clean off his head and carried the young girl from the building taking her to Sarah's house, a day or so later he had decided to not send her home to just let her stay with him as long as she stayed clean. He took her to Raine's to stay however since he had planned to propose to Sarah that night. Rejection had shattered him and sent him to drinking and then to Selene once more. The woman was a pillar and a voice of reason.

Afterwords he had spent a couple days out in the dessert with Raine learning to channel his anger and unstable emotions, when the two had returned him Ashe started to talk to Grace about addopting her. He bought her an accustic guitar like she wanted and gave the girl a few driving lessions. She was not Danny, she'd never be able to fill that void but she gave him something to concentrate on and to protect and that helped bring more of the man he had been back to the surface he learned to smile and relax more. To laugh at more then irony.

It was less then a month after her rejection of him Ashe Corven, had done something he had never before done. He technically cheated on Sarah, he had been trying for a week or so to talk to Sarah to get her to tell him why she didn't want to marry him but he couldn't get a word from her and on a visit with Selene showing her the stars he had only showed Danny before he let those forbidden feelings resurface and the friendship he valued so much became a consummated love. When he had woke in the morning he realized he had been lying to himself the last year of his life, Sarah was someone he wanted in his life but not someone he saw himself being with forever. Since she wouldn't speak to him he did the best he could, he left her a letter on the table telling her that he was leaving her and moving out.Though he had not been living there for two weeks by then. he just hadn't told her that he had been slowly moving out. Until that morning, that morning Ashe Corven stopped living on the bad side of town and started to live with the woman he loved.

Sitting on the roof he smiled up at the sky laying back on the tin roof one leg propped up. Taking a long drag off of his cigarette. "Damn it's been a crazy year." He spoke aloud looking at the moon, this time last year he had had no one but Sarah and he had moped around in a fit of depression. Now he could smile laugh and be himself without feeling judged. Smiling up at the sky he let the smoke roll from his lips, Deciding that when he got home he would let Selene know he'd go to every ritzy party she may ever want him too and he'd not object to her being the one in charge of the financials. If these things made her happy then by god he'd let her have them. All he wanted was to be by her side and to see Grace grow into a wonderful woman, even if she cant date till she's 45. Ashe's rule, he doesn't plan to be a grandfather until he's at least 50.

He heard a horn then and sat up peering down at the blue beat up truck "Ashe! I've been calling for an hour!" he heard his sister call to him as he took another swig from the bottle of rum tossing it towards the nearby dumpster smirking a bit when he heard it shatter inside of it. He then jumped down landing gracefully before her. "Left my phone inside, might I ask what's wrong?" He asked as Raine twacked him in the back of the head "You were suppose to go meet Graces friends parents tonight!"

"Shit..." Was all he could say "I'll reschedule it." He muttered moving shut off the lights which killed the music as well. "Wanna give me a lift home? I've been drinking." He told her as Raine looked at him a bit worried.

"I'm not depressed, just wanted to finish the bottle off when I found it." He spoke with a smile laying a board against the tailgate and he and Raine pushed the Ducati up into the truck beat closing the tailgate once more. Once he was in the truck they pulled away from the garage and Ashe was still smiling. "I'm a lucky guy. You know that? If you ignore the bad I have a lot of fantastic stuff in my life and one hell of a family."
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Metro - System of a Down